Sunday, January 29, 2023

 

Victor Kerr


Everyone in Greene County New York new Jack legs diamond. My dad knew of Jack Legs, more specifically, he knew  Legs henchmen. This came about for several reasons Acra New York was blessed with having Legs summer cottage located there. Legs was named Legs  because he and his girlfriend used to dance at dance contests. Legs as well known in New York city as a champion dancer. Acra the little summer town, was off the main drag but is located on a well-traveled local root. Legs was in the alcohol business among other things. Due to his wealth, he built a beautiful Catholic Church in Acra because his dancing partner Alice was Catholic.


The way my dad, a young buck in those days before he met my mother, interfaced with Legs henchmen one night. He and his best friend emulated Legs and traveled the local jet set roads dancing with all local girls. There was a speakeasy in Acra on the route toward East Windham, and dad and his best friend Walter from Cairo were in the club one night went and Walter was entertaining the crowd as usual, by playing the piano. He was a well recognized piano player and done a lot of playing for the local dandies and ladies who frequented the speaks.


Walter had finished the sequene and headed  to up to the bar to collect a well-earned beer. Two men his size leaned against the bar as he approached. Is urgency to resume in the limelight, he elbowed his way between the two men. They gave way with a minimal disturbance. 

He finished the next set without interruption among a lot of standing ovation. As he looked to the bar he noticed that the two men had left. When he approached my dad my dad murmured to him as he reached for refill, that the twosome were Legs bodyguards. Walter never finished the set, since he passed out with the news. Legs honeymoon with Acra ceased after a farmer who was tortured with lighted cigars on the bottom of his feet died. The farmer had been hauling beer under a load of hay and Legs was trying to get him to confess on where he got the beer.


Shortly thereafter Legs was struck with several slugs of 00 but as he left the church. The VA hospital in Albany dug out the slugs allowing him to pursue his short acting career. Legs had been a World War I veteran.


The connection to this story comes from the fact that one of dad's friend Steve had a successful trucking business. He owned and operated five big trucks. Someone convinced them to use his barn to make beer. The barn was in a remote spot and he could haul to and from it over his own property without detection. So began his short-lived career of delivering beer. Competition with the New York suppliers cause the feds to be alerted to his activities. There was a constant struggle to take over the entire prohibition business by competing gangs. Steve got caught in the pinch between these gangs.


Attorneys took all his money within two years to keep them from being deported. Steve died, leaving a small farm to his sons. The informers could have been close to Legs or any other of the competing gangs. As a small child we were happy to have Steve come to our farm in Tannersville where he with his big Morgan horses would plow our garden. We would take off our shoes following the plow to pick up the night crawlers, for fishing. My dad had Worm bins in our celler so we had fish worms all year round to sell to visiting fisherman. My sister Alice worked her way through beauty school selling fish worms.

A parallel story to these was my dad's oldest nephew was one year older than him. Claude was the second child born to a Egbert and Fanny Kerr who was my oldest uncle on my father's side. I was told that during the 20s Claude had a super sports car. It had two gas tanks. One was for fuel. The other was for alcohol. He was known to have run grain alcohol from the Notch up to Tannersville. His sports car much much faster than the police cars of the time. In fact when state troopers were assigned to Hunter Township they had to wait to get their horses. They were dressed like Canadian Mounties but had to travel on foot many times, hitchhiking with empathetic local drivers.


During the time my father and his partners hauled junk down to the river for an income. For this enterprise he used a 1½ ton truck. During the summer when it was hot, one practice was to take out the floorboards in the cab for air-conditioning. Coming into Tannersville from the East was a rather steep hill. Most drivers when they became over the hill downshifted and used engine braking to get down the hill. One day as my father approached the top of the hill from the East a trooper was trying to get a ride into town. My father stopped and picked him up and he proceeded to go down the hill and the trooper noticed that there was no floorboards. My dad explained the cooling system at about that time downshifted or lowered the timing on the truck which I think was a model a Ford. When the trooper got in he had to brace himself with his brand-new boots and spurs because of the floorboards missing. When my dad reduced the timing on the vehicle, a ball of fire shot the muffler right between the trooper's feet. After he jumped and almost wet his pants he asked to be let out quickly. After that my dad reported that other troopers had not asked for a lift.


Another time returning from a junk hall down by the river he was coming up the mountain from Palinville  toward Haines Falls. It was late in the evening and halfway up the mountain was a free-flowing spring. It was where all drivers knew to stop if there vehicle had low-water. As he approached the water tank someone stepped out with a flashlight and pointed in his eyes. My dad had carried a pistol with him in the truck for many years. He carried it because he brought money back from delivering the junk. When the flashlight approached the vehicle from the driver side he was confronted with a pistol pointed at him. The person behind the light turned out to be a young state trooper. When he recognize he was under cover by a gun, he dropped the light and put his hands up. My dad got out of the truck slowly and had the individual pick up the light and determined it was a state trooper. He lowered his pistol and handed the light to the trooper. Dad explained he thought he was being robbed. The trooper said the reason he was there is that they had heard about several people being robbed at this location at night. My dad gave the trooper a ride up the mountain and told him on the way that he should not be shining the light people's eyes because most of the tourists were armed.


Another incident on the mountain was the time they were resurfacing the highway. The mountain has several sharp curves and one side of the road was closed. This time my grandmother Alice was riding on the passenger side with my father. Previously when she was riding with him they had come around a turn rather abruptly. The door on her side wasn't properly fastened however she luckily had her elbow out a little window due to the warm weather. As he came around the turn the door swung open and she clinging to the door swung out over the highway. When the turn straightened out the door closed and she swung back to her seat the door closing firmly. During this incident she never made a comment.


The next incident involving them happened was when the highway was being paved with concrete. To control traffic they gave a flag to the last vehicle allowed down the highway on the one way road. As my dad approached the signalman he got the flag and headed down the highway thinking that the way was clear and so the vehicle picked up speed. After two turns, looking ahead he spotted a cement truck coming up the same lane that they were on. With no other recourse, 50 feet from the oncoming truck my dad swung over to the other lane where they had put poles across the highway,. They had put the poles on the highway to hold the straw down to keep the cement from freezing at night. Of course they ran over a half a dozen those poles. When my dad swung back onto the highway behind thecement truck. Shortly thereafter Grandma Alice remarked that they sure don't take the bumps of these new highways. I don't know what these builders are coming to. At that point my dad nearly ran off the road to stop from laughing.


One other incident on that mountain road involved a friend of the family Gene Constable. Jean and his brother were World War II veterans but they grew up working around my dad because their dad wasn't always present. Gene was well-known for high-speed driving. As you can imagine in those days, the roads were not in tip top condition but it didn't matter. It was 27 miles from Tannersville to Hudson New York. At the time Jean had a girlfriend in Hudson . There were several stoplights as well as this winding mountain road between Tannersville in Hudson. Also there was a Hudson River Bridge which had a speed limit. It was rumored that Gene could make it from Tannersville to Hudson in under 45 minutes. Twice in this effort Jean ran off the mountain and over the hill down into a gorge of about 150 feet knocking down a lot of small trees. This was in front of Molly Smith's tourist stop. Although his cars were left there Gene escaped miraculously,, with very few injuries. And in those days very few traffic tickets.


My dad took Gene and a lot of the young guys swimming, as kids before the second world war. After the war Gene came to work with us at the time I did. At the time my dad was painting houses and we were working in a cellar of the house one day. One man in town had gotten special disability due to a poisoning. He had been washing himself in gasoline after painting with oil paint. So my dad's rule was to clean up with kerosene which did not penetrate the skin. After painting one would wipe oneself off with a damp kerosene rag. This night after painting and the seller with a spray gun Gene and I and my dad all had microscopic dots of white paint that had come through our T-shirts. Gene was in the bathroom with the kerosene rag wiping off the paint drops and finally exploded through the kitchen yelling as he ran toward the back barn. My dad heard this ran after him with a towel wet with water. He thought that the kerosene had burnt Gene's skin and was running with water to catch him to wipe the kerosene off. When he caught up with him, Gene was still ranting raving and my dad asked if the kerosene was burning. No Vic said Gene, it's not the kerosene.  All those years you made us eat aspargress,  carrots and  spinach commenting that it would put hair on our chests. I just saw your chest and you don't have any hair on it.


Another incident with Gene was when we had the strawberry shortcake dinners in June at the fish and game club as a fundraiser. At this point Gene was in love with my cousin, Wilberta Sweet who came from Ohio for a visit. The women made the shortcake and we went down to the Hudson River near Palenville, and pick the strawberries fresh for this occasion. We always  had cows and so we made our own whipped cream to go on the strawberry shortcake. When the shortcake was served, Gene remarked that he was not eating any  white stuff on there no matter what. My dad said you're going to try a teaspoon or you're will ware it. After a teaspoon full of whipped cream, Gene exclaimed my God I've been missing out on this all these years. Yes my dad said and we determined later that Jean had probably been exposed to sour cream as a kid rather than whipped sweet cream. Thus when he saw it he thought it was going to taste sour. After that strawberry shortcake with whipped cream seemd to vanish whenever Gene was around. Later on he and Wilberta were married and lived together for long time.

Friday, January 27, 2023

 Looking forward to 56 wedding anniversary on 11 February.

Friday, April 08, 2011


Dateline, Dec 2010


No discrimination, No prejudice


Winslers do not discriminate. This month the city gave $ 10,000 to Standing on the Coroner, $ 3000 to the Top Gear Crowd

and $ 1000 to the aboriginals for their celebrations.


Outdoor Swim Pool Closed for Winter


Citizens that ride the pool water down on Thursdays are warned that the pool is closed and covered until Memorial Day. The cover keeps the Winter riffraff out.


Double Dippers Wages Frozen


Double and triple dipping corrupt

officials were notified that their wages would be frozen for two years. This chill is in concert with the recent federal mandate that put the ice to federal oinkers.


City Receives Tony Clifton Award


Once again the city gains a coveted

award. It is given for arrogance, ignorance and apathy by public officials. This time is the purchase of the Patty-Boid. While river riding trips can be scheduled, the showboat has been at anchor for several months. There has been a discussion about bronzing and mounting the boat on a pedestal for tourists to view.






Council approves Temple Permit


A local Muslim group received a building permit for their new Islamic temple.

The congregation wants to build a 7 story minaret as soon as the temple is complete.

The minaret will be located near the Black Indian statue in BFS Park. Donations of time and funds are welcome. A search for local virgins is underway. Just in case.


Slo Council agrees To Volunteer


Mayor Payne announced that council members will serve at no cost to the taxpayers until the economy improves.

The police chief was authorized to increase traffic stops to offset the reduced tax income. They are encouraged to stop more speeders and those on cell phones and collect the $ 100 bounties.


Shovel Ready Project in Progress


The City Manager announced that the latest shovel ready project sponsored by a stimulus grant is going great guns. He showed a map of the location of the antique porta-potties due to arrive before snowfall.

Each new park bench will have a potty

assigned to it. When visitors tire from the views offered by the park benches they can get respite and relief at hand.

Dateline, Jan 2011

No discrimination, No decision


Winslers do not discriminate. This month Planners and Zoners hosted the contestants wanting to be the Maryjane Market in the city. Several groups petitioned for licences. Holy Smoke, a religious group were among the top candidates. Their church is outside city limits. Several other groups with dope connections were still in the running at press time. Former police officials were represented. No one has been eliminated the P & Z Chair announced, just as long as the

Marts are a stone's throw away from public schools and playgrounds.


Burkahs are the New Fashion


The city manager announced in an

On the Coroner address that burkahs were allowed to be worn in public, legally. The motivation was flu prevention. Wearers were to be provided red and white canes to assist them in walking and crossing streets. “While burkahs will shield the public from flu germs, they restrict peripheral vision”,he said.


Mayor gives Christmas, Hannukah, Kwanza Pardons


Citizens attended Mayor Payne's pardoning ceremony Thursday. In mirroring the White House practice with turkeys,he pardoned all the dogs and cats in the pound. The day after Christmas all condemned dogs and cats were to be released back into the city. Citizens are warned that the animal crowd may visit their neighborhood and to be ready to feed and water them on demand.


The Police are your Friends


The local police SWAT Team demonstrated their friendly approach to solving the few crimes in the city. The chief and detectives showed off their new Homeland Insecurity vehicle. It is resplendent with its 20 MM Gatling Gunmount. The force decimated a hill of haybales for the High School kids and staff. The tracers set off a minor blaze that was quickly snuffed out by the Fire Fighting few. The gun will be fired every July 4 th so that kids can see tracer patterns.

City Receives AnotherTony Clifton Award


Once again the city gains the coveted

award. It is given for arrogance, ignorance and apathy by public officials. This time it is for the downsizing package they are ramming through. In order to keep the corrupt officials pay increase this time,they are reducing two workforces. The first is the cemetery crew. From now on citizens will be digging their own graves for their families. Taxpayers are warned about penalties for not burying loved ones, smoothing the surface and replating the grass over loved ones.The second area for elimination is the water company crew. In the future sewage problems will be resolved by the city renting porta-potties to the afflicted residences. This is similar to the Jimmy-toters that taxpayers enjoy today.

Dateline, Feb 2011


No discrimination, No prejudice


Winslers do not discriminate. This month the city raised the water rates and drove three motels out of business. With an increase in sewer rates most people will be shivering in their Port-a-potties ( or out houses). This is evenhanded. The double dippers are happy not to be prejudiced.


School head wear Approved for Winter


Citizens were alerted to the retraction of the head wear ban imposed at the beginning of the school year. All hats are acceptable. Caps can be warn both sideways and backwards as well as brim front. Burkahs and cowhand hats are allowable as well. Hardhats and helmets are discouraged but also permitted.


Double Dippers Wages Frozen


Double and triple dipping corrupt

officials were notified that their wages would be frozen for two years. This chill is in concert with the recent federal mandate that put the ice to federal oinkers.


City Receives Tony Clifton Award


Once again the city gains a coveted

award. It is given for arrogance, ignorance and apathy by public officials. This time is the practice of environmentally wise road striping. With the state mandated restriction against oil based paints, the city will use sidewalk chalk lines. The stimulating, shovel ready plan will provide an endless job opportunity for qualified,out of county, contractors. Lately, they are ever present along with the chain gangers.


Council approves Fracking in Public


Another out of state group received a building permit for their new street drilling project. They will inject sewerage outflow into the holes for raising natural gas out of the earth. The council is usually so full of natural gas and heifer dust that the approval was a slam dunk. Homeowners are warned that the natural gas smell of their drinking water is not harmful. It replaces the current bleach smell that citizens have enjoyed since the advent of the state crowbar hotel.



Slo Council agrees To Volunteer


Mayor Payne announced that council members will serve at no cost to the taxpayers for television roles. They will be compensated by FOX. They will be the volunteer corpses on Bones and ER. They have been studying their roles for years.

Old Knockemstiff got the deal and four of the council will join her for the TV auditions.


Shovel Ready Project in Progress

Souvenir laminated cow pies and

doggy do are available at city hall.

Profits go to “ Jump the Humpout”

prizes. Contest rules next issue.

Dateline, Mar 2011


No discrimination, No prejudice


Winslers do not discriminate. This month the city approved a new ordinance. Only out of city or county contractors would be used from now on. This action was in reaction to local contractos arguing about “fair share” guarenteed bids. Under the table bids were discussed which inspired the new law.


Council sells Sweep Tickets


Citizens were alerted to the availability to purchace “:Sweep tickets” at city hall. beginning of the school year. Citizens and tourists can purchace a limited number of tickets to attend immigrant sweep sweeps throughout Winlo. Tickets are also available on the Coroner and at the Chamber. The Chamber is where money goes into a black hole. Sweep should stimulate the hospital economy. Guest sweepers are cautioned that most sweeps are held before dawn. A Hispanic buffet is included after the roundup. No hazing by guests are allowed. Bulletproof vests, helmets, gloves and goggles are available on request for an additional charge.


Double Dippers Wages Frozen


Double and triple dipping corrupt

officials were notified that their wages would be frozen for two years. This chill is in concert with the recent federal mandate that put the ice to federal oinkers.


Tony Clifton Award


Once again the city gains a coveted

award. It is given for arrogance, ignorance and apathy by public officials. This time is the practice of environmentally wise road striping. With the state mandated restriction against oil based paints, the city will use sidewalk chalk lines. The stimulating, shovel ready plan will provide an endless job opportunity for qualified,out of county, contractors. Lately, they are ever present along with the chain gangers.


Council Sponsors Jump the Humps


City council narrowly approved the Jump the Humps contest. The rules are simple. You must use your own vehicle. The vehicle will hit the hump smartly and safely without damaging trees or lamp posts. Police wil measure jump distance. Prizes will be awarded weekly. Monthly prizes will have trophies along with widespread news coverage.


Slo Council agrees To Volunteer


Mayor Payne announced that council members will serve at no cost to the taxpayers for television roles. They will be compensated by FOX. They will be the volunteer corpses on Bones and ER. They have been studying their roles for years.

Old Knockemstiff got the deal and four of the council will join her for the TV auditions.


Dateline, Apr 2011

Council sells Win in Winlow Game


Citizens were excited to learn that a new game published by city hall was available for sale to the public. Citizens and tourists can purchace an u limited number of games that suppliment the sewer fees that permit super bonuses for top city officials. Taxpayers can secure their copy at a reduced rate while tourists and other foreigners will pay a premium. The board game encourages cheating, lying and corruption tactics. Copies are available at city hall or the Chamber where money goes into a black hole. Win in Winlow should stimulate the economy. Motels and resturaunts are encouraged to push the games on guests. Strategy and cheat booklets are available on request for an additional charge at the city attorney's office. He can provide practical advice on election rigging. It is an essential part of the game.


Tony Clifton Award


Once again the city gains a coveted

award. It is given for brazen arrogance, ignorance and apathy by public officials. This month the council and chamber facilitated the opening of the new war helicopter plant at the Amelia Earhart Aerodrome. The air park was named to honor those who never returned from flying. The chamber assisted by sponsoring the worldwide chopper naming contest. The top two winners were HUK and Mujadeen. These new models were named for the Filipino and Afghan freedom fighters in past wars. Runners up were Sandanista and Chicom. They were rejected as lacking the threat message like Apache. The plant will employ 2-250 out of city employees and management


Council Expands Jump the Humps


City council approved offering Jump the Humps contest to out of city contestants. Remember the simple rules. You must use your own vehicle. The vehicle will hit the hump smartly and safely without damaging trees or lamp posts. Police will measure jump distance. Prizes will be awarded weekly. Monthly prizes will have trophies along with widespread news coverage.


Slo Council agrees To Volunteer


Mayor Payne announced that council members are available for business closings. Other mayors and council attend business openings where they help cut the opening ribbon. In Winlow they show up to wrap the black ribbon around the door of the dead shop.


New Shovel Ready Project in Progress


Memorial parks will be shuffled around the city starting next month. The Black native will be replaced by the NYC war artifacts and the Bullfrog will be moved to Rotery Park.

Wednesday, March 19, 2003

Why did the chicken cross the road ???


GEORGE W. BUSH

We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road.
We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of
the road or not. The chicken is either with us or it is against us.
There is no middle ground here.

AL GORE

I invented the chicken. I invented the road.
Therefore, the chicken crossing the road
represented the application of these two different
functions of government in a new, reinvented way
designed to bring greater services to the American people.

COLIN POWELL

Now at the left of the screen, you clearly see the
satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.

HANZ BLIX

We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we
have not yet been allowed access to the other side of the road.

MOHAMMED ALDOURI (Iraq ambassador)

The chicken did not cross the road. This is a complete
fabrication. We don't even have a chicken.

SADDAM HUSSEIN

This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were
quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.

RALPH NADER

The chicken's habitat on the original side of the road
had been polluted by unchecked industrialist greed. The chicken did not
reach the unspoiled habitat on the other side of the road because i was
crushed by the wheels of a gas-guzzling SUV.


PAT BUCHANAN

To steal a job from a decent, hard-working American.


RUSH LIMBAUGH

I don't know why the chicken crossed the road, but
I'll bet it was getting a government grant to cross the road, and I'll bet
someone out there is already forming a support group to help chickens with
crossing-the-road syndrome. Can you believe this? How much more of this
can real Americans take? Chickens crossing the road paid for by their tax dollars,
and when I say tax dollars, I'm talking about your money, money the government
took from you to build roads for chickens to cross.

Tuesday, March 11, 2003

You Think A Gallon Of Gas Is Expensive?
Makes one think, and puts things in perspective.

Diet Snapple 16 oz $1.29 ......... $10.32 per gallon
Lipton Ice Tea 16 oz $1.19 ....... $ 9.52 per gallon
Gatorade 20 oz $1.59 ............. $10.17 per gallon
Ocean Spray 16 oz $1.25 . .....$10.00 per gallon
Brake Fluid 12 oz $3.15 .......... $33.60 per gallon
Vick's Nyquil 6 oz $8.35 ........ $178.13 per gallon
Pepto Bismol 4 oz $3.85 ......... $123.20 per gallon
Whiteout 7 oz $1.39 .............. $25.42 per gallon
Scope 1.5 oz $0.99 . $84.48 per gallon


This is the REAL KICKER...... Evian water 9 oz for $1.49 ........ $21.19
per gallon. $21.19 FOR WATER! ....and the buyers don't even know the
source. But then again EVIAN spelled backwards is naïve.


So, the next time you're at the pump, be glad your car doesn't run on water
Scope, or Whiteout, or God forbid, PEPTO BISMOL or NYQUIL!!!!

Thursday, March 06, 2003

HOW TO STAY YOUNG
1. Throw out non essential numbers. This includes age, weight and height. Let the doctor worry about them. That is why you pay him/her.
2. Keep only cheerful friends. The grouches pull you down.
3. Keep learning. Learn more about the computer, crafts,
gardening, whatever . Never let the brain idle. " An idle mind is the devil's workshop." And the devil's name is Alzheimer's.
4. Enjoy the simple things.
5. Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.
6. The tears happen. Endure, grieve, and move on. The only person who is with us our entire life, is ourselves. Be ALIVE while you are alive.
7. Surround yourself with what you love, whether it's family,
pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever. Your home is your refuge.
8. Cherish your health: If it is good, preserve it. If it is
unstable,= improve it. If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.
9. Don't take guilt trips. Take a trip to the mall, to the next county, to a foreign country, but NOT to where the guilt is.
10. Tell the people you love that you love them, at every
opportunity.

AND ALWAYS REMEMBER:
Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.
If you don't send this to at least 8 people ... Whoopdeedoo, who cares...